I need more fairies

O Bosy....
i feel like whining...

i think i feel so highly strung like on a roller-coaster these days. maybe the neurotransmitters in my head are on a terrible strike now...
I think i tend to kick a mountain out of a molehill tis days whenever my dad's unwell.
Just today, he suddenly had this giddy-dizzy spell before i left for school and it totally freaked me out. Ok not the shocking kind of freakin-out...but the dull throb that pulls you down to your gloomy worries. if you know wat i mean.
i mean, sigh, i know it's really too fast to say anythin. and i just dont understand y i have to always paint such a dark colour before the bright colours can come onto the canvas.
sigh, i feel so abnormal at times.

like at one point ...i can be so happy talking to ppl, to schoolfrens, to u....and i feel like yeah im so strong enough. but like hours down the day or days down the week, when im alone or travelling on the train...i feel so much like crying!
i m so weird!!! its like the black spell is back to haunt me!! (u noe wat the black spell is rite?)
And i'm fighting so hard to keep away tt i feel so roller-coasted.
sad, ok, joyful, sad, ok, joyful........goes on n on...
I think i can scare ppl with this oddity of mine man...
i feel so much like the prozac nation girl...
i feel so narcissistic...
Will u be afraid of me bosy?
(*gives a sinister look*)

But no worries bosy...cos like afterwhile i have written tis i can be as gay as Angie is always. I will be fine one.
its jus that.....
hmmmm.....
i duno wat to say...
im not like being decapitated. i'm jus prone to sadness now i guess.
ARGH!!!!